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Why I Stopped Faking the Employment Enjoyment

Faking the employment enjoyment

“You know I could ‘let you’ go pick up your son but he needs to understand that you have a job. You are either going to work or stay at home.” This is what I was told at my last job when I asked to work through lunch to leave early and get my son who would be stranded at school. “Make him figure out his own way home.” That sealed the deal for me on how I look at the environment I spend my time in away from my family and my passions. It was in that moment that the decision to stop faking the “Employment Enjoyment” became inherently strong in my bones. I didn’t want to be there; not when that was the attitude towards employees. So I made my exit plan, and left.

I faked the employment enjoyment so well. I’d walk in and smile waving all down the hall. “Good morning.” “I love your dress.” That part was genuine. The part I faked was actually wanting to be there. It was the place where my dreams had gone to die. And the environment was happy to see them smoulder.

Your Body Knows When It’s Time to Go

The weeks leading up to making my decision to quit, I was waking up with knots in my stomach in the middle of the night. My body was rejecting what was to come. It was screaming at me, letting me know, this isn’t your place, sis. These aren’t your people. This is not your life’s work. It was good work and good pay; I loved what I did. Each day I was dragging through the door. enough energy to check in with the kids to see how their day was. Exhaustion wasn’t the word. The gaps with my children weren’t being filled, unfortunately, there just wasn’t enough putty for the walls. I hope you get what I mean.

The “day to day” living began to look as a leaky boat full of holes. It was a leakin’ and I was a sinkin’. How was this me living a life full of purpose. What will all of this exhaustion mean if I hadn’t properly nourished my family and pursued my passions. Playing it safe was keeping me from the very thing that I needed to propel me forward. Hands up. Can’t breathe.

Experiencing True Employment Enjoyment

My life’s mission is to nurture relationships and situations that feed me. I desire to be in an environment where I return those actions in kind. Last week, I saw the YouTube video of the teacher resigning from her job because of the environment she was in. People really believe they can treat you however they please and your are required to stay. When I watched her, I teared up and wished her well. I just imagine her going through what I went through when I finally decided to choose myself first. Moving to a place where my soul is free and fed has always been the goal. Experience true employment enjoyment if you are able. And like the lady says in the video, “walk away when you should.”

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20 Comments

  • Reply
    Zim
    February 19, 2020 at 11:40 am

    Thank you for saying what most people think, but will never dare to say. As women, we are expected to be grateful that we work at all. I quit my job 5 years ago and I’m homeschooling my kids. My now teenage son was that kid that I had to fetch from school, therefore leaving meetings earlier. The eye rolls of the senior staff, who by the way had armies of domestic helpers (paid) were always evident. I left it all behind.

    • Reply
      Christy Irene
      February 21, 2020 at 12:27 pm

      Good for you! I homeschooled my kids a few years ago and it was so crucial to do at that time for my family. I am considering doing it again. I think people often times confuse being grateful and discontent. It is okay to evaluate a situation for what it truly is and decide it is just not a match and move on. I am glad that you are happy with your decision.

  • Reply
    Jody
    February 20, 2020 at 9:04 pm

    this is such a bold and brave post! I feel like so many have felt this way but don’t dare to speed.

    • Reply
      Christy Irene
      February 21, 2020 at 12:30 pm

      Thank you, Jody! I am finding my voice in this life of mine for sure.

  • Reply
    Chad
    February 20, 2020 at 11:30 pm

    This is like reading my own story!!! Yes I went through the same thing and everything in me was pushing me to leave. Great post.

    • Reply
      Christy Irene
      February 21, 2020 at 12:29 pm

      Thank you, Chad! And yes, yes, yes! When it’s time to go, go.

  • Reply
    Angel
    February 21, 2020 at 12:28 am

    You know, I really appreciate this self-care movement that more and more people are beginning to realize. There’s this sentiment that God forbid, if one were to pass away right now, companies would not even bat an eye at replacing them. So if we’re so easily expendable, why waste time stressing and worrying working somewhere where you’re not fully appreciated or even doing what you really want to do? Life is too short, so more power to you for finding something you can have joy and fulfillment in doing.

    • Reply
      Christy Irene
      February 21, 2020 at 12:29 pm

      Angel, I appreciate it too! People have gotten so use to working themselves to the bone and life passes us by. I want to live during this life, and not just let it pass me by. Thank you for commenting.

  • Reply
    Joanna
    February 21, 2020 at 10:04 am

    I had similar experiences to several work places. When the environment becomes toxic and managers are not supporting and encouraging you, no matter how good you are at what you are doing, you will leave. And it’s their loss! I started my own business and I don’t have to deal with people incapable of managing other people, who don’t appreciate the work their employees do.

    • Reply
      Christy Irene
      February 21, 2020 at 12:32 pm

      It is always their loss. Good for you for moving on and doing your own thing!

  • Reply
    catherine santiago jose
    February 21, 2020 at 11:45 am

    This is so true and I know many of us can easily relate on this kind of situation. We really need to know ourselves and just stop when we’re tired but never quit.

    • Reply
      Christy Irene
      February 21, 2020 at 12:31 pm

      Catherine I really like what you said. Stop when we are tired, but never quit.

  • Reply
    Jackline A
    February 21, 2020 at 1:30 pm

    I agree! Your body and mind know when it’s time to go.

  • Reply
    Ramelle
    February 21, 2020 at 2:21 pm

    Yes, it’s about faking it til you make it

  • Reply
    Kevin Akidi
    February 21, 2020 at 3:44 pm

    I so get you, I was bluntly told I needed to decide which was more important, my career or my family. Needless to say, I didn’t last long in that job. I love being my own boss because then I don’t have to make such ridiculous choices. I can do both.

  • Reply
    tweenselmom
    February 21, 2020 at 9:23 pm

    In my age, I’ve learned how important it is to persevere and sometimes we really have to suffer and not give up when it comes to jobs but there are limits to these. We have a short life and the soonest we see what we can do and toil about that will still make us happy, the better.

  • Reply
    Alexa
    February 22, 2020 at 3:55 am

    Thank you for this! I developed back problems and I believe it has to do with my job! Your body always knows.

  • Reply
    Christopher Mitchell
    February 22, 2020 at 4:22 am

    I’m all about the posts that are straight from the heart and this is exactly that!

  • Reply
    Alexis
    February 22, 2020 at 5:40 pm

    I love this! I’ve arrived at the age where faking enjoyment just isn’t going to happen. As you mentioned, you spend way too much time at work to fake being there.

  • Reply
    The Difference Between Being Grateful and Being at Peace - Christy Irene
    March 9, 2020 at 7:15 pm

    […] last job, saying I was unhappy is putting it sweetly. It affected me so much that I wrote the post, Why I Stopped Faking the Employment Enjoyment. I have heard all the comments before like, “you should just be grateful for what you […]

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