Sometimes in life I get in a mental space where I let the actions and opinions of others consume me. I become consumed to the point of where inaction settles in my bones. Often, I am trying to rationalize my way through what someone said. You know some people just really over think things and that’s me. Guilty as charged. In all actuality, it isn’t healthy and I know it. I realize that the things I stress over are some of the things that don’t matter in life.
Years ago, I was really into this guy that I thought was really into me. I found out after months of dating that he was engaged to someone else. I was devastated. After sharing the story with my friend, he replied (in true male fashion), “why do you care?” That was a response that I hadn’t expected.
While I was looking for sympathy he wanted me to really consider why I would let someone who had a value system opposite of mine get under my skin. At that precise moment, I didn’t care anymore. That guy’s deceit was his problem. It was not mine. I was making the fact that he needed to be dishonest, all about me.
Life’s daily occurrences have a way of making you look back and think about how the train wreck that surrounds you could have been avoided. If I would have taken the time to pay attention to the signs, I would have missed the heartache. It is easy to begin to look at everything as a potential sign of something to be avoided. While sitting here I can’t help but think that this is not living and it should not be a way of life.
Things that don’t matter have a way of relieving us of joy from situations that should be enjoyed. I remember sitting on an island being robbed of a beautiful view because I wished to dwell on something that happened years ago. That is ridiculous. Think about it. The things that we dwell on, what does it really matter in the grand scheme of our lives. Does it help us live free and happily or does reliving past situations and hurtful comments keep us living in the past.
You cannot enjoy today if you keep rewinding back to a hurtful time in history. Things happen. Things hurt. What we need to focus on is how is that going to make my life worth living. If it isn’t, let it go because it doesn’t matter. Remembering the time someone cheated you out of money and conjuring that memory every time you shop makes for a miserable shopping experience.
Things That Don’t Matter
- When someone says you can’t do or be something, it doesn’t matter. You get the first and final say as to what you can do and achieve. It is your vote that counts.
- When a person, place, thing, or song reminds you of something painful. It doesn’t matter when you choose to actively seek people, places, things, and songs that bring you joy. Acknowledge the reminder and then accept the joy that today provides.
- People’s need and desire to reflect their reality onto you. We choose what is real to us. You can choose real pain, or real hope. You can choose to look at a thunderstorm and see a ruined day or see how many of God’s creations have received the refreshing and restoration they have been waiting for.
Things That Do Matter
- Deciding to love yourself.
- Waking up everyday looking for the good, offering compassion, and working towards being the best version of yourself
- Making wrong situations right, where you can.
- Releasing the hold that others tried to have over you and wishing them peace for their own troubles.
At the end of the day, worrying about ourselves is such a full time activity. Adding others actions and words to your day makes the load unbearable.